Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
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