WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
This house was built for laser tag.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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