i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
