i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
