If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
