I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
