my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
