the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
