Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Panties = found
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
