people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
