so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize