dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Randomize
