he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You were trust falling into bushes
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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