How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
