My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
