need another drink. this is the easiest way
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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