And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
