do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
