When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
