Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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