omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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