remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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