Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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