my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize