i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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