In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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