I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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