Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
