the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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