he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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