i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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