Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
3pm strippers are depressing
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
did i just pee glitter
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
