do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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