My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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