the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Shame - the story of my life.
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