So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
