so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
