marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
