oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Randomize