By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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