; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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