Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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