Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
so explain again why im purple
no
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
