I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
