I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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