respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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