i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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