I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
