there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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