Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize
