tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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