Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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