I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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