glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
