don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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