SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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