she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
