Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
