So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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