Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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