he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
