ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
