Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
