ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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