You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
