Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
