He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
