She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
