Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
