By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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