Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
