no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
