He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
