fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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